Jacuzzi Boys - Glazin'

(Hardly Art, 2011)

Man, I sure do love some good old fashioned happy feet rock n' roll. Nothing gets my blood boiling quicker than some sugar-sweet short songs stuffed with sap and sunshine. Say THAT one fast a couple times. Pack in some "oh oh oh"'s and some tasteful keyboards, and I'm happier than a kid in a post-Halloween candy coma. Sure, I've digested and appreciated such monoliths as Metal Box and OK Computer, but most of the time I'd rather listen to the Archies or Tommy James & The Shondells, man. There's just too much shit going on in the world right now, and people are busy occupying things, updating their resumes, working on their bedroom pop projects, and taking their kids to pilates classes. You'd like to think that a few of them are just DYING to put their goddamn phones down for like two minutes and thirty seconds sometimes to FORCE a dopey smile. Maybe just daydream for a bit? Well, if you're part of that undefinable percentage, and you've ever wished for sugar everywhere, melting in your hair in the sunshine, then I might have an album for you.

I can't think of a better title for this particular LP than Glazin'. From the sticky, garish photo and art-deco lettering on the cover to the opulent irony of the band's name to the brightly tinted band photos on the inner sleeve to the warm, candy-coated pop tunes within, this second LP from Miami's Jacuzzi Boys is well and truly glazed over. It's all sun-baked and easy-going and might be the best soundtrack for barrelling towards the beach in a sand-flecked beater that I've heard by a band not ending in "each Boys." Well, let me back up the hyperbole truck a little bit. It's not THAT good, not by a long shot, but it's definitely one of the top three mid-fi/glitter/beach/surf/punk/power-pop albums I've heard since the mighty King Tuff Was Dead record was unleashed back in 2008. Glazin' is one of those albums you throw on the stereo when you just want some HOOKS and don't want to play the connect-the-influences game that has been slowly sucking the fun out of music since we all started downloading shit at will and started throwing our "well, it sounds like this crossed with this" hats in the ring.

Like a cheap trinket bought in the moment at a beach-side tent, Glazin' starts to fall apart under close scrutiny. It's slight and genuine and unassuming, and perhaps it treads too close to the T. Rex bubblegum formula that King Tuff perfected, but this trio of youngins have a real knack for crafting serious hooks, punctuated by frontman Gabriel Alcala's playfully bratty vocals. At times they settle into a steady Modern Lovers-style power chord chug that sends your head into a spontaneous fit of lazy bobbing, best demonstrated by lead-off single "Automatic Jail," where Alcala is shacked up in a womb-like cell, watched over by his lady love's electric eyes, and he knows it's a trap, but it's just too damn safe and secure in there to ever leave. Sure, it's a well-worn lyrical conceit passed down from "Suspicious Minds," but the song connects immediately, and it could have been a college rock staple back in the day, slotted comfortable in between "Just Like Heaven" and "Here Comes Your Man" on a KROQ playlist.

The title track is the cut that references melted-sugar hair, and as it turns out, "Glazin'" is the verbal equivalent of those scenes from old cartoons where hearts sprout from the eyes and thumping bass drums erupt from the chest. You ever get so sprung and head-over-heels that you can't get any words out more than one syllable long? Well, that's glazin'. This record might not have anything deeper to offer beyond that initial heart-stopping infatuation, but sometimes it's nice to have that kinda feeling documented, and it's been quite a long time since a record offered up some tunes that had me singing along by the second listen. Things start to get a bit thick and plodding somewhere in the middle of side two, but album closer "Koo Koo With You" comes closer to that T. Rex feeling even more than Smith Westerns ever did, starting with the line "Well I'm a space cadet headliner, and I can draw my heart in the sand," which had to have come straight out of the Marc Bolan diaries, which remain unpublished for some odd reason. T. Rex were written off as a teenybopper fad and largely ignored in America in their prime, so it's hilariously perfect that they've become the most influential band going, some 40 years later. The Jacuzzi Boys are adrift in a cartoon world, solving mysteries and getting down with Marc Bolan, Jungle Face Jake, Scooby Doo, and Pepe Le Pew, with enough raspberry feelings for all. It's more fun than the alternative, right?! Glazin' is a must-hear for today's jaded and too-busy ears.

If you're in the Cincinnati area, the Jacuzzi Boys are playing at my favorite bar the Comet next Wednesday, the 26th. They're bringing along two great rock n' roll bands, Davila 666 and the Barreracudas. It starts around 9:30 and it's FREE, so no excuses, OK?!